We’ve all heard of the devastating effects depression has on the human psyche— loss of motivation, apathy, suicidal ideation.
But what’s often overlooked is the smaller, sometimes crueler, daily struggles brought on by executive dysfunction and low energy.
Case in point: hygiene.
It’s embarrassing to admit that everyday personal hygiene is a struggle. Acts like showering, washing your hair, and brushing your teeth can feel impossible.
Nobody wants to admit they can smell their own stink but don’t have the motivation to do anything about it.
Inconsistent hygiene can also lead to permanent or expensive-to-fix issues, like tooth decay. If you’re a woman, reproductive hygiene (especially when you’re on your period) is paramount.
Against the backdrop of the clean girl aesthetic and the optimize-yourself-or-die hellscape, failing a task as simple as washing your face can feel like a moral failing — a dangerous feeling when you’re dealing with depression.
What To Do About It
If you’re medicated, meditating, or working with your therapist, and managing your symptoms, good for you!
But for those of you who aren’t getting anywhere with theory, here are some practical ways to get through the day without hating yourself for staying in the same dirty clothes for the fourth day in a row.
1. Go To The Bathroom
The most difficult part is getting started. So, before thinking about anything else you need to do, stand up and go to the bathroom. Again, don’t think — just do.
2. Simplify, Simplify, Simplify
Let go of 10, 20-step skincare routines. 9 times out of 10, you aren’t going to have the energy to complete it, which is only going to make you feel worse. If you still want to do a pamper session, keep it for the days when you have the mental capacity to complete it.
When your headspace is bad, go with a bare-bones approach.
All you need to do is get in the shower or bath and let the water run over your body. Once you’re there, it’ll be easier to grab the soap and wash your body. You don’t even need to be thorough — just get the most important bits.
If you can’t stand and brush your teeth at the sink, bring the toothbrush and toothpaste into the shower with you. Do it under the running water.
That’s all you need to do right now.
If, after washing your body, you still feel like you can do something, use the extra energy to wash your hair.
Again, once you get out, all you absolutely have to do is change your underwear. The rest is window dressing.
3. If You Can’t Shower, Use The Sink
I’m from a third-world country, so washing in the sink isn’t that foreign a concept. But if you’re new to it, yes, you can use the sink if the shower or bath is too much work.
All you need is soap and a washcloth. Wet, lather, wipe, rinse, and repeat. Again, you only need to the the important bits if that’s all you can manage.
4. Get A Mild Tasting Toothpaste And Soft Bristle Brush
Probably the most embarrassing hygiene struggle with depression is dental hygiene.
Hard toothbrush bristles and extremely minty toothpaste are the biggest cause, in my opinion. It’s often too overwhelming when daily life feels heavy and muted.
A good way to overcome this struggle is to make the process as mild as possible.
Get a soft bristle brush. Don’t be ashamed to grab a kids’ toothbrush — they work great. Combine it with a mild-tasting toothpaste, like toothpaste for people with sensitive teeth and gums. Anything is fine, as long as it doesn’t have an overwhelming flavour.
As for flossing and brushing twice a day — let it go. You can add those tasks to your hygiene routine on days when you have the energy.
5. Adopt A Persona And Make It Pretty
Depression can look wildly different from person to person, and, sometimes, adopting a persona or romanticizing the process can work wonders.
So, whether you’re pretending to be a Sim, a celebrity sharing their skincare on Vogue, or ‘aesthetic-afying’ your hygiene routine for an unpublished ASMR video, do what you’ve gotta do to get the job done.
6. Most importantly, Do What You Can
Nobody is watching you wash your hair. Nobody is grading you or making note of your flossing technique. If today you only managed to briefly stand under your shower spray, then that’s enough. You did what you can.
Depression, like life, changes constantly. Your mood is going to fluctuate and some days you’ll be able to do more — and that’s okay.
Functioning at 100 %, 365 days a year just isn’t an option, not even for fully functioning adults. If you can manage 50% effort even 1 day out of the year, then you’re already winning because you’re not at zero.
Don’t compare yourself to the imaginary version of yourself in your head, the one who can do everything, every day, without fail.
I mean this in the nicest way possible: that person doesn’t exist.
It’s an ideal and not a realistic, human one. Trying to reach that ideal is only going to make the distance between where you are now and where you think you should be feel overwhelming.
Accept the ebb and flow of this condition and do what you can, when you can. It’s enough.
